POTC Movie Parodies
by Mr. M'n'M
Summary: A parody on the first movie! A little OOC. PLOT SPOILERS!
1. Introduction

**Movie Parodies: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl**

**Disclaimer: _Jack enters shot on The Black Pearl._ You really think this pathetic excuse of a writer owns this stuff. You should get your head checked!**

**Introduction:**

Elizabeth:Yo ho. Yo ho. I want to be a pirate!

Gibbs:You have a horrible singing voice. Please be quiet before I get a headache. Wait it's also bad luck.

Norrington:Mr. Gibbs that is enough. She is only a child. Sorry Elizabeth I would have to agree with Gibbs.

Gibbs:It's bad to sing about pirates with this poorly made simulation smoke.

Norrington: Whatever!

Elizabeth: Look! There's a boy in the water who I will later fall in love with!

Norrington: Bring him aboard. I need some decent competition.

Governor Swann: Elizabeth he is in your care even if I don't approve of your love to him later.

Elizabeth: Wow! Pretty necklace. I'll take this! YOINK

(she takes the piece of gold, then sees The Black Pearl sailing away)

Writers: It's going to take too long to film the next eight years so we'll skip them. It has now been eight years since that day and Elizabeth is 20.

(knock on door)

Governor Swann: Elizabeth, I'm coming in. I have a dress I want you to wear when Norrington proposes to you.

Elizabeth: You spoiled a plot device father, but isn't it also Norrington's promotion ceremony.

Governor Swann: Yes, I suppose so. Just act like you care about him and say yes to his proposal.

(Elizabeth can't answer as she is having trouble breathing in the corset)

Servant: Mr. Turner is here to see you.

_Scene changes. We are now shown a shot of Will breaking a candle holder on the wall._

Governor Swann: Did you just break that?

Will: No it was like that when I arrived.

Governor Swann: Oh. Never mind. Can you just show me the sword, your fancy trick and then let me pass my compliments where they are not due? I have more important things to do.

Elizabeth: Hello Will, the love of my life. I had a dream about when we first met.

Will: Really? I have no idea what you're saying as I am staring at your perfect face.

_Scene changes again and we see Jack standing on the mast of his boat._

Jack: Why does this ship leak? I borrowed it without asking fair and square. Nothing was said about leaks.

_We see the sign and the three pirates at the gallows._

Jack: Sorry mates. You weren't very good at talking your way out of things, were you?

Harbormaster: You there. You need to pay to tie up your ship, even though you won't have a ship for much longer.

Jack: It's not my ship, but I'll give you three shillings and we'll forget about my ever coming. Then I'll take your money bag. That sound good to you, savvy?

Harbormaster: I suppose. Good day Mr. Smith.

Mullroy: You're not allowed on this dock.

Jack: Really? Oh well, I'll just trick you into forgetting I'm here and I'll attempt to take that ship anyway!

Murtogg: That ship? _points at Dauntless _That would be the Dauntless, but the Interceptor is much faster. You should take that one.

Jack: Thanks for the advice, but The Black Pearl is much faster. I'll just leave you two to have an argument over its existence.

Murtogg: Hey he's on the ship. Let's go have a nice conversation with him.

Mullroy: Okay.

_Elizabeth and Norrington on the forts._

Norrington: Will you marry me?

Elizabeth: I can't think of a way to get out of this so I'll just faint.

_She faints and lands in the water. Jack, Murtogg and Mullroy see her fall._

Jack: Keep an eye on my things as you two idiots don't have brains enough to save her.

_Jack dives into water and rescues Elizabeth. He cuts off her corset and sees the gold._

Jack: Where did you get that? Can I have it?

Elizabeth: No! I need it so I can get onto The Black Pearl.

Jack: Okay then. Who's going to be the one to chain me up?

Norrington: I am.

Jack: Oh good._ Jack's hands are chained and he takes Elizabeth hostage._ Great. Now give me my belongings so Elizabeth can put them back on me.

_Norrington gives Jack his things._

Jack: You will remember this day forever blah blah that you almost caught me- Captain Jack Sparrow blah blah. Here's the girl.

_Jack attempts to push Elizabeth into Norrington, but Elizabeth will not move._

Jack: I need you to move so I can make my escape.

Elizabeth: Right. Sorry, I forgot. I just am really desperate not to marry Norrington.

Jack: Sorry, I can't help you there, but some undead pirates will kidnap you soon and they'll take you away.

Elizabeth: Finally something to look forward to. You don't know how boring it is to be a governor's daughter. Pretty clothes…

_Jack doesn't hear anymore as he has made his escape. Norrington and the army look at her briefly, very confused, before running after Jack._

**A/N: Just so that you know I have absolutely nothing against POTC. It's such a great movie. Now please review!**


	2. Duelling

**Movie Parodies: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl**

**Disclaimer: _Jack;_** **You still think Mr. M'n'M owns it? I don't know why I try to reason with you lot!_ Walks out of shot annoyed._**

**Dueling:**

_Jack enters the blacksmith shop after out running many bullets that probably would have hit him if he wasn't one of the main characters. After freeing himself of the chains/irons, Will enters the shop. He notices the equipment is not where he left it._

Jack: Hello there. Do I know you?

Will: No, I don't seem to recall your acquaintance, but I have heard of your appearance. Hmmmm._ Will begins to search his memory of where he knows Jack's appearance, not noticing Jack heading for the door._

Wait, you're the pirate they're looking for! I wonder if I turn you in, it will gain the affection of Miss Swann.

Jack: I don't think it will, but you can always try.

_He continues walking to the door. Will comes out of his stupor and throws his sword at the door, effectively barring the way out._

Jack: What did you do that for? I was about to leave before we had to do the fight scene. I'm not really in the mood.

Will: Too bad. We need to create some extra action.

Jack: Like there isn't enough already!

_Jack and Will begin to sword fight around the shop and then on the rafters. They are evenly matched._

Jack: This is going no where. We are evenly matched.

Will: I suppose you are right.

_He throws his sword on the ground. Jack takes the opportunity and throws dust in Will's eyes._

Will: That's not fair! The fight was over! That's cheating!

Jack: No it wasn't, I didn't yield. It may have been cheating, but I am a pirate.

Will: I guess so.

_Jack gets hit on the head by a bottle of alcohol and is knocked unconscious. Norrington enters._

Norrington: Mwahahahaha! **cough, cough.** Good work Mr. Brown. Take him away! I'll just continue with my evil laugh in my own time shall I?

_Jack is in the jail along with some other prisoners._

_Scene changes to Elizabeth in the governor's house._

Maid: It was a very interesting day for you Miss.

Elizabeth: Yes, Norrington proposed, I fainted and I met a real life pirate.

Maid: A pirate? Sounds terrifying!

Elizabeth: No! It was one of the best days of my life. Never before so much action has occurred in my life!

Maid: Really? _Leaves room a little worried._

_On top of the fort._

Governor Swann: Has Elizabeth given you an answer yet?

Norrington: No! _mumbles under his breath. A loud noise is heard in the background._ Cannon fire! Return fire! _Tackles Swann to the ground._

_Jail:_

Jack: Hey! That's the Black Pearl!

Prisoner: The Pearl? Really? I didn't think it existed.

Jack: You and everyone else.

_The Pearl's guns are destroying the battlements._

Norrington: Governor, get into my office and cower in the corner like the coward you are! Cry if you feel it necessary! That's an order!

_Governor's house:_

Elizabeth: More pirates! I should be scared, but this is much too interesting!

Ragetti: Look! It's her. She's got the gold!

_Pirates run up to Elizabeth, who has remained on the stairs._

Pintel: _stops running like everyone else._ Aren't you going to run away?

Elizabeth: No.

Pintel: But we're pirates come to kidnap you!

Elizabeth: So Jack Sparrow was right!_ smile fades from her face._ Okay, um parley?

Ragetti: Damn! I hate parley!

Pintel: To the Captain you go!

Elizabeth: You're taking my request seriously! I get to see a real pirate ship!_ Smile returns to her face and she is led to the ship squealing._

_They go through the streets and Elizabeth sees Will._

Elizabeth: _Waving_ Hey Will! I get to see a real pirate ship! Want to come?

Will: Elizabeth! Don't leave me! _Is hit over the head by a passing pirate and is also knocked unconscious._

Fans: Why are these people constantly knocked unconscious by a mere bottle? It's ridiculous.

Disney writers: Because it happened to me and it's my movie and um…I wanted them to! _Exits laughing manically._

_In the jail a hole has been blown in the cell wall._

Jack: Damn! Why is my luck so rotten?

Prisoners: No idea, but I hope you escape too!

_Jack attempts to get the dog to give him the keys to the cell, but fails miserably. A crash is heard and the prison guard falls down the stairs dead._

Twigg: We aren't 'supposed to be here, are we?

Koehler: Yeah we are, it's part of the movie you dolt! Look, if it isn't Jack Sparrow.

Twigg: Really? I thought it was a look-a-like!

Koehler: Shut up! Last time I saw you Jack was on some island in the middle of the ocean!

Jack: Yeah, I realized that!

_Koehler grabs Jack's neck and Jack sees what normal daylight does not show._

Jack: Well, looks like there is a curse! Now I don't feel so bad about being betrayed by you lot!

_Twigg and Koehler leave._

_Elizabeth is rowed to the Black Pearl. The pirates look confused as they had no idea that captives were being taken._

Pintel: Don't ask!

Elizabeth: Take me to your leader! Wait that's not right! Umm…

Barbossa: Hello there Miss! _turns to Pintel _Why is she here?

Pintel: She's got the gold! I thought that was obvious as it's hanging from her neck and all.

Barbossa: So she does. What is it you want Miss? You're under the protection of parley after all!

Elizabeth: Well some more pirate action would be good, but…I guess…oh what the hell- leave Port Royal and never return?

Barbossa: I should now use a bunch of fancy words, but I'm not bothered so I'll just say no!

Elizabeth: Oh okay! Well what about my first request with the pirate action?

Barbossa: That I can give you! I'm not bothered to explain why I can't give you the rest of your request, but it's got to do with the fact you're not a pirate!

Elizabeth: _mumbling_ not yet anyway.

_She then walks to the side of the ship for no reason at all and holds the medallion over the side._

Elizabeth: Because-well I have no idea why- I'm going to drop this piece of gold!

Barbossa: Go ahead, it means almost nothing to us-well not really!

Elizabeth: Okay. _Let's go of chain and the medallion almost falls in the water._

Barbossa: Noooooo! _Whole pirate crew goes in slow motion and dives for the medallion with that funny slow motion music playing in the background._

Elizabeth: Aha! SO it is important!

Pintel: Well the Captain did say so, 'dinni he?

Barbossa: Just give me the gold and…well…I'll make sure you get all the pirate action you want!

_Elizabeth thinks for a while before handing over the medallion._

Barbossa: What's ye name, Miss?

Elizabeth: Umm…well they kidnapped me so I'll give them the first name that pops into my head. Elizabeth…Turner! _ to herself _Well I'm going to marry Will hopefully so…

Twigg: Turner?

Pintel: Bootstrap!

Barbossa: Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner.

**A/N: So how was that? Thank you to all my reviewers- you rock! I'm hoping to get 10 reviews before the next chapter goes up!**


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